Shitty friends.

So now & days I have no clue who to trust. I swear you can call them your bestfriend EASILY, but are they really ? Do they treat you as a bestfriend should treat you ?

I don't know .. I can't trust anyone now. I feel like ever since that Ashley incident, I've been paranoid about being backstabbed again or I have my guards up hardcore this time.

You say I'm a bestfriend, and you wouldn't do something like that to me, then why are you ? I sound like I'm letting a guy get into our friendship but really I'm not. He's not my man, I know. But you knnneeewww how excited I was to try and chase after something new. & how much I was into him. You even said you were happy for me. & now I hear you're telling people around school that you're "talking" to him ? That's pretty fucked up. I swear something happens between us every two years. It's stupid. But whatever, I guess that's fine for you. That's not how I treat my friends. I love you though, because you've always been there for me .. I feel like our friendship is fading away again.

I have the stomach flu. Yay for yacking after rehearsal. We had rehearsal 8:30-11 last night and I did not feel good at all. Pretty intense if you ask me. I loooove my team SO much. & I'm glad to say, I'm not quitting anymore (:

I swear, the only thing that makes me happy now is dance and my team. It's like I'm in love with it/them ! I don't cry over anything else but them. I haven't cried since sunday .. over something stupid. Everything that's been happening to me that I usually would cry over, I don't anymore ! I only cry when I think about how happy they make me. On this stupid blogspot, the only good thing is dance, everything else is just bad. I watched a sad movie and I usually would cry, but I didn't LOL. I cried sooo much last night at rehearsal because I realized how great of a studio I have. I'm so sad to leave that because it's going to be hard finding another studio I can call family.

I am so thankful to have Kristen & Jeff as my directors. They seriously treat us as their own kids. I've never been on a team before or another studio, but I've never seen directors get so close to their students. They could care less about how we placed or if we fell on our faces during a performance. Just seeing us having fun w/ something we love makes them happy. Ahhhh & I wanna cry every single time I think about it. They BAWL over us. We make them just as happy as they make us. I seriously don't want to leave them at all. Ughhhh.

We have World of Dance tomorrow, I'm so fuckin excited yet sooo scared. This audience is going to be 10x bigger than Friends & Family and Showstoppers. Friends & Family was sold out too. Oh geeze.

I needa get my stuff ready for tomorrow. Sleep over at Chantal's tonight with Olivia & Marilyn. I'm excited (: I get to spend another weekend with my loves.

"IS MY BOYFRIEND GONNA BE THERE ?! MAYBE I CAN SNEAK INTO HIS BED" Hahahahah. But Nic's still my #1 boo lmao.

Later bitches and hoes.

xoxo