The end.

Already. And that is why I'm so stubborn to give my heart out. I DON'T wear my heart on my sleeve. And THAT'S why I have my guards up. Everything always backfires doesn't it hahah. But whatever, like John said, I have a big heart, and who ever takes it for granted sure is stupid.

I do miss the old me, the one who never gave a rats ass over anyone, who didn't really care if they lost someone. I use to be able to just get the fuck over it. But now .. from what John said, I evolved into a person that actually cares for others now, someone who grew a biiiig heart. HA. So funny.

FML.

Oh & college started. Yay ? Sike. I kinda miss the summer. I miss the BEGINNING of summer. But obviously this seems just like a summer fling doesn't it. Whatevs.

DJKR forever <3

Peace & Love
xoxo

It's funny.

How the sparks can just go away before you know it.

Here I am telling myself how it's nice to finally feel happy again buuuut like always, I say it too soon. How come I'm already left confused and just flustered. The number one thing I HATE being.

Seriously .. if things have changed, don't just force yourself to stay. Do the other person a favor and leave before it's too late.

I like how I was worried it was ME going to be the one leaving again, and fuck everything up. But it's not.

It's funny how the one time I finally let someone in again, it backfires on me.

Peace & Love
xoxo

Amazing.

& I couldn't ask for more (:

Summer time.

Summer time is the shit right now (: Even though all I've been doing lately is baby sitting and dancing. But whatevs ! Beats being at school.

Lots of changes have been happening lately too, and I like it !

So today I hung out with Leslie finally ! First we went to Yogurt World (our home!) with Chula & Andrew. Andrew is sucha handful u_u Oh lord. But it was nice (: Yay catching up ! After dropped off Chula and went to the park for Andrew to play and caught up some more. I missed my bestfriend (: She's the only one that's got meeeeeee <345

Now I'm bored starving ! I'm starting to really miss my parents ); But I guess this is how it feels to live on your own. It was nice finally being able to talk to them again. Since they finally decided to call me and see how I was doing ahhaha. 2 more weeks until they're back.

Oh! I REALLY need to go to the beach soon too. Everyone has gone except for me and Leslie ); It's not summer till I go ! );

Back to babysitting.

Peaceh & Love
xoxo

Happy Camper.

I've been so happy lately (:
It's a change ! And I like it !

Friday night was amaziingg and so fun (: Let's redo it againnnnnn and again and again ! Hahaha. Thanks everyone who came through (;

But I'm amazingly lazy to blog !

Peace & Love
xoxo

Del Mar Fair

1st place ! (: Another one to remember. I love my team so much. & The whole studio actually. Everyone did SO good and I am SO proud.

One more performance and we're dunzo ): Noooo. I love our medley so come & watch next time!

I'm too eh to blog right now. Sooo ttyl.

Peace & Love
xoxo

Growing up.

So being out of high school feels freakin` great ! It's kinda weird because I feel like I have no idea what to do NEXT. Ahhhh life. I miss my friends though ! Gosh, I've been way too busy to hang out. Sucha bummer.

It's great not having to stress over anything anymore. (:

Del Mar is on Thursday and I'm SOOOO stoked for it. Last time I remember, I was in the stands watching the teams perform now it's my turn to actually perform ! (: Yayyyy me. We've had a lot of rehearsals lately. Especially yesterday, Rehearsal 1-3:30 class at 6:30-7:30 and Rehearsal again at 8:30 to 10:30 ! Tomorrow rehearsal at 3:30-5:30 & I hope that's it x_x All this for Del Mar and our medley is freakin` sick ! I am SO excited (:

I'm getting a car soon woop woooop ! Still trying to decide on what though.

Party Friday (: Text me for the deeets.

I really need to get a summer job, like seriously. I HATE the feeling of being broke and having to depend on people.

OH; my parents left for Vietnam yesterday morning. Eeeekkkk. I kinda miss them ! The house feels so lonely w/ just my sister & nephew. But yay freedom ?

Well, I'm really tired. I baked chocolate cheesecake on my own today (: Well w/ 210's instuctions. It's SO nice having her back. My other half !

Peace & Love
xoxo

Last day of High School

So it hasn't really hit me yet that I'm done. All of us just walked out of school like we were coming back the next day.

Graduation is on Monday and it all seems so surreal. I'm pretty scared.

So if you all haven't figured it out. I fucked up, so I'm most likely not going to SFSU anymore =/ Fuck me in the ass .. Atleast I'm graduating u_u

Today was the funnest day ever. I love Cakes. Like no joke. I'm going to miss them the most, but in 2 years these bitches better move up to SF like they said ! Anyways first off, we ate at Chili's after school. Us + no food = Starving bitches. We ate soooooo much. Then went to Fashion Valley to try and find a graduation outfit. I swear we were so lazy because we all had food comas ! Hahaha. Ran into people at the mall. Not surprising ! Then after we just went to Raych's house to kicket. Casey came w/ Kobe his dog. Hahahahah. Funniest shit EVERRRR ! Janie is afraid of dog's and this is what happened when Kobe loves her and goes to her first thing !

Now I'm home being lazy and slept most of my friday. How sad ! Oh wellll.

Brother is coming home tomorrow and body rock is tomorrow night. You guys should go ! Cookies has a new set (:

Love & Peace
xoxo

Take me to the bay.

I'm in love w/ San Francisco. I'm soooo excited to leave. Being at orientation really summed it up for me. I have all my classes. I need to find a place to live and I'm set. Ifffffff I raise up my grades =/ which I feel is impossible right now !

Oh how I hate procrastination. Time to study before I procrastinate on that too.

Peace&Love.
xoxo

Memories.

I miss the old days .. where i felt comforted and I felt like I could just be myself. The days where we got along and the days where we just laughed all the time. I guess since it's almost coming to a 2 year point since we met I've been thinking a lot. I miss going to the beach late summer nights and have you sleep over after. I just miss you period.

Moving along is hard .. but I'm still standing aren't I ? I just want to know where everything went wrong so I can stop wondering. Maybe that's the closure I need. I hate thinking we're ever gonna be together again b/c we alwaaays come back to each other. You can't admit that .. but face it .. you don't call saying you miss someone if you didn't still care or still wanted them. Despise the other people we see .. we're always in the back of our head aren't we ):

Prom was great w/ you .. and I'm glad I spent it w/ you even though things didn't go perfectly .. I was still happy it was you out of anyone.

I'm stressed .. but I'm handling it well.

Peace & love.
xoxo

Beat Freaks.

AHHHHHHHHH. I LOVE THEMMMMMMM. They're so freaking nice & great (:



I took Lindsey's class today and it was helllaaa bomb. I love her piece SO much. I wish the day didn't have to end so early ): I love my studio so so so so so much. Most of the best memories are with them.

I was watching the Friends & Family DVD today and it hella got me thinking. I was thinking about our first performance at Ada Harris Elementary in October, and I wish we could just go back to that ! I had so much fun then. The season is moving along so fast. I need work my butt off soon too.

Soo happy. And so tired.

I need to work on my senior portfolio so can't stay for long. Graduation date is SO close. I'm so scaredddd.

Love & Peace
xoxo

K-12

was the shiiiit (:

Met some cuties ! Woootwoot. & I'm way too tired to blog lmao.

Peace & Love.
xoxo

Out with the bad, in with the good.

I am dunzo.

Ahahaha. I love Benice. She makes my days better !

I want him so bad ! Cutsiebutt that's freakin perfect. S429 knows who this is.

Tell me why there were interviewers at the studio the one day me & Benice decide not to go ! Pooops ! ): Oh wells.

I miss the studio already ! My hommeeee. I had so much fun this whole weekend w/ everyone there. Gosh gooood laughs. & jokes. Bahaha. I'm so excited for K-12 this weekend too ! BUY YOUR TICKETS FROM ME PLEASE. HURRYYYYY !

Peace & Love !
xoxo

Ugh.

Last night was fantastic ! Being in a chatroom w/ Benice, Avanti, Tang & Richard. LOL. Soooo hyper. & it made me feel a lot better.

But to update yesterday's blog. It's not that you don't have time. I'm not mad about that, I understand that, b/c hello I have only 1 day of the week I can actually kicket. But seriously, I'm pissed at how many times I've been flaked on. Especially an hour after we planned something. But it's whatevs.

I'm not the type of person who just let's someone come to me just b/c they lost a certain someone or something. I admit I did that, & I feel bad. I've seriously changed my ways though.

I just hate how we have like this stupid thing where we'll be together everyday for a period of time than we just don't kicket at all. That's b/c something new happened & I'm not needed. IT'S ANNOYING AND I'M AGGRAVATED.

Peace & love.
xoxo

I'm done.

I'm done with this friendship. I really am sick and tired of the one always trying. I talk like it's a relationship or something lmao. But real shit, I try so hard to keep our friendship because I wanna grow old with you. Just like in Bride Wars when they grew old together. I never really had a bestfriend from when I was little like that. Someone I can be w/ 24/7. You were the closest I had, and it's not even like that anymore.

I feel like I'm a lot closer to someone I've only hung out w/ for a couple of weeks and she's there more. She actually calls to kicket because she WANTS to, not because she has nothing else to do.

But whatever.

I really wish I had a bestfriend from when I was little till now. *sigh. I feel like everyone has one but me. But I'm thankful for the ones I have.

Buy K-12 tickets from me. $18 presale, $22 at the door. YOU choose what you wanna spend ! May 16th. Show starts at 7 ! www.studio429.com for more info.

Peace & love.

xoxo

PMS.

Eh. I'm not in the mood. I'm pretty bipes today.

But he made my day. Whatta cutie <3 LOL.

& other man, quit calling me.

& I'm getting pretty lonely ..

& I need a prom date. Fuck.

K-12 is on May 16th. Buy your tickets from me betchies. $18 pre-sale $22 at teh door.

xoxo

Cutie with a booty.

Geeze I haven't really blogged.

Well let's just go back to this weekend. It was THEEE best.

Friday: BTD Day !
We had a sleepover at my house. Which was pretty bomb. (: I was too scared after we watched The Grudge though ); Some cutie was there too ! Hahaha. Rock Band <3 Oh gosh. So fun !

Saturday: MC Airbands
Amazing job from everyone ! It was fun. But I'm so mad @$!$# didn't say hi to me even though his ass was right next to me & across from me in the parking lot. PFT YOU. I didn't really do much that. I just knocked out when I got home hahaha.

Sunday: Break Yo Self
This was fun. But I didn't know how long breakdancing could go on for LOL. I feel inspired to be a bgirl but .. knowing me, it'll go no where hahaha.

I NEED A HAIR CUT u_u & I miss you. LOL. Oh man. I'm so tired. 4 hours of dance today. Woohoo -_-

xoxo

Hot hot hot.

This weather .. sucks. I'm too lazy to blog.

I hate boys. I hate girls. I hate the world. Hi, I'm negative nancy.

Bye (;

xoxo

Trip dates.

Soooo looking at our old "trip dates" pictures made me really miss junior year.

For all of you who don't know, trip dates = christine & justin, janelle & chris, and me & andrew. Funny how we're all seperated now ): Couple wise.

I just remembering having those random fridays where we went out w/ each other. Like going to the movies, proud that the person you're holding hands w/ was yours. Buying 40's and going to a dark park just to kicket w/ each other. It sounds fuckin dumb, but it was hella fun !

Dancing w/ each other w/ the music on a cell phone. Peeing in bushes when you hella had to go hahahaha. Jumping over fences. Oh gosh.

I wish we could go back to those days .. I was happy b/c I was chubbier. I believe people get bigger when they're happy (:

xoxo

Bestfriend.

I take that blog back from earlier. My bestfriend is the fuckin` shit (:

Through every single thing I've gone through and all the choices I've made stupid or not, she's been there to support me through everything. I don't know what I'm gonna do when we're 8 hours away ): Poops.

I feel like I'M the shitty bestfriend for ever feelings how I did. But that's where the paranoia comes in. But I love you.

& thanks for the phone call. I miss you too. That's when everything turns upside down.

xoxo

Why do I care ?

Ugh .. for some reason I've been caring too much.

It's weird how I miss you now. I guess it's because I know you still lurk around my life ..

I've been feeling so .. ick lately. I don't wanna miss you. Someone who fucked me over so many times. But why do I ?!

Today's been an off day for me .. I'm CLEANING. & I never clean unless I'm mad or sad. Ugh.

I can't wait for our next performance.

MC Airbands. April 25. Go.

& I'm hella stressing over SFSU. Who knew staying in was so hard ..

xoxo

Miss you ..

Happy suppose to be 18 months.

I miss you.

xoxo

World of Dance 2009

Was fuckin` amazing.

Tru-Definition got 3rd place and WHAT ?! This was our first hip-hop competition. Not just a hip-hop competition, but one of the biggest ! I'm so proud of us. I wasn't expecting this at all. Like real shit. The teams there were pretty freaking good. Congrats to APT for 1st place, and their fine ass boys :P Bahahah. All of us cried so much. I SWEAR ONLY THEY MAKE ME CRY. -_- We were all so happy. I don't think ANY of us were expecting it. We worked so hard for it (: & it's sooo nice to hear "good job ! you guys did great" from random people you don't know. & Hearing "You guys deserved it ! We see you working so hard during rehearsal" from your own studio members. It feels good ! Especially how we're the youngest team that competed ! Ahhh. Thanks Kristen & Jeff for putting everything together. We wouldn't have gotten there without you guys.

Breakthrough did amazing too, with their new medley. I'm proud of everyone ! (:

I met Dominic from Quest <3333333333>

xoxo

Shitty friends.

So now & days I have no clue who to trust. I swear you can call them your bestfriend EASILY, but are they really ? Do they treat you as a bestfriend should treat you ?

I don't know .. I can't trust anyone now. I feel like ever since that Ashley incident, I've been paranoid about being backstabbed again or I have my guards up hardcore this time.

You say I'm a bestfriend, and you wouldn't do something like that to me, then why are you ? I sound like I'm letting a guy get into our friendship but really I'm not. He's not my man, I know. But you knnneeewww how excited I was to try and chase after something new. & how much I was into him. You even said you were happy for me. & now I hear you're telling people around school that you're "talking" to him ? That's pretty fucked up. I swear something happens between us every two years. It's stupid. But whatever, I guess that's fine for you. That's not how I treat my friends. I love you though, because you've always been there for me .. I feel like our friendship is fading away again.

I have the stomach flu. Yay for yacking after rehearsal. We had rehearsal 8:30-11 last night and I did not feel good at all. Pretty intense if you ask me. I loooove my team SO much. & I'm glad to say, I'm not quitting anymore (:

I swear, the only thing that makes me happy now is dance and my team. It's like I'm in love with it/them ! I don't cry over anything else but them. I haven't cried since sunday .. over something stupid. Everything that's been happening to me that I usually would cry over, I don't anymore ! I only cry when I think about how happy they make me. On this stupid blogspot, the only good thing is dance, everything else is just bad. I watched a sad movie and I usually would cry, but I didn't LOL. I cried sooo much last night at rehearsal because I realized how great of a studio I have. I'm so sad to leave that because it's going to be hard finding another studio I can call family.

I am so thankful to have Kristen & Jeff as my directors. They seriously treat us as their own kids. I've never been on a team before or another studio, but I've never seen directors get so close to their students. They could care less about how we placed or if we fell on our faces during a performance. Just seeing us having fun w/ something we love makes them happy. Ahhhh & I wanna cry every single time I think about it. They BAWL over us. We make them just as happy as they make us. I seriously don't want to leave them at all. Ughhhh.

We have World of Dance tomorrow, I'm so fuckin excited yet sooo scared. This audience is going to be 10x bigger than Friends & Family and Showstoppers. Friends & Family was sold out too. Oh geeze.

I needa get my stuff ready for tomorrow. Sleep over at Chantal's tonight with Olivia & Marilyn. I'm excited (: I get to spend another weekend with my loves.

"IS MY BOYFRIEND GONNA BE THERE ?! MAYBE I CAN SNEAK INTO HIS BED" Hahahahah. But Nic's still my #1 boo lmao.

Later bitches and hoes.

xoxo

Lesson learned.

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

I've never been so stupid. But you win the award of most stupid person on earth. Why would you ever bring your new little .. thing to MY dance show. The one that means the most to me right now, my last Friends & Family, the SHOW that got me dancing in the first place. My 3rd & last year doing it, you fuckin ruined it. Also my 2nd to last performance since I'm quitting pretty soon..

Whatever, I'm fuckin dunzo for good. & yes, I know I say that a lot. But I put this on everything I'M DONE. You can't fuckin try & come back every single time I tell you I'm done w/ us than ditch me when you find another girl. I hope you have fun w/ that piece of shit. She's everything you hate anyway. But not to be bitter anymore, I'm happy you're happy. I still love & care like I always have. So I'm happy for you .. I guess.

I don't understand why some people can't just break up with the person, or have closure. It hurts more when you just leave them hanging .. plus it saves you the annoyance of having to ignore them. I don't get people sometime.

I love Avanti. He's right, I do need a MAN that can treat me like a princess because I DO deserve it. Nothing less. Seriously, I put so much time & effort into this damn relationship, and all you gave me was bullshit. gjagajlgjaf.

Whatever, I'm done. I'm surprised I'm not bawling over this shit.

But on the bright side, this weekend was AMAZING. I was with the most wonderful people ever, Studio 429 family. Duh. They were there for me the whole entire weekend. I'll recap (:

Friday, March 27, 2009:
We had night rehearsal with the 429 teams to put the closing piece together. It was quite fun actually ! Hahaha. I met a loooot of new people. Everyone has so much talent. I'm proud to say I'm apart of that family. Me & Benice went around telling everyone our lame jokes hahahaha.

After practicing from 6:30PM-10:30PM, a lot of us went to T.G.I.F.'s to eat dinner and celebrate Tracy's birthday. How fun was thaaat. We were there from like .. 11PM-3AM waiting for our food and just talking. Hung out with theeee cutest boy ever hahaha :P Even though he's mean ! In a playful way atleast.

I noticed me and Benice are always stuck together w/ no ride haha. I Disneyland, we had no ride home. Night rehearsal, no ride home. We basically depended on Brian & Carlo all weekend for rides. Which was also fun ! Thanks Brian for freakin scaring us 927395278 times at night !

Saturday, March 28, 2009:
All day rehearsal this day. 11AM-9:30!! That's like sweatshop hours right there. It was so fun though. Being surrounded by the people you love most. I have to thank Benice for being there for me the most this day. & Laverne. I hellllaaa love them. It's gonna be so hard to leave .. ):

The cutie with a booty said good job & hugged me & Benice after LOL. We were like .. dying hahahaha.

We ate McDonald's after .. the fatest place ever ! We gained back all those calories we burned off from the day how sad :P

Sunday, March 29, 2009:
Friends & Family Expo 2009. My last one .. I CRIED SOOOOOOOOO MUCH WHEN I GOT HOME. I am SO proud of everyone that performed. Especially the mom's that performed w/ us (: You guys made the last one the best one yet ! I'm so happy I was apart of all of this. Thank you everyone who came out to see it, because it meant the WORLD to me. I know $18 isn't cheap. So real shit, thanks.

I messed up .. like twice. But who gives? I had so much fun. I can't wait until World of Dance this Saturday now !

I just can't get enough (:

Thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK you for everyone that supported me throughout everything. I don't know how much more I can stress it ! I'm really thankful for my studio, my directors, my teammates, my 2nd family. I love you.

Today:
No biggie. Same old. 3 days until WOD. Yay !

xoxo

God takes away to give you better.

If God puts me through, he'll get me out of it.

I haven't felt soooo happy in so long. Or so giddy over someone.

I'm happy (: & it feels good.

Friends & Family is this Sunday. Soooo excited. This is my 3rd & last one ): Poops.

I hung out with Desiree & 210 today. Still am actually .. soo stupid. "I'M CONVERSATING WITH HIM !!!!" "Conversing ?!" I miss these hoes !

Thanks to all the people who bought my tickets last minute just so I can perform (: Those are some goooood ass friends. I really need to find better friends. I'm really sick of stupid people. Like .. hella.

Friday tomorrow ! & I have rehearsal 6:30-11. Sat 11-9:30. Sun. 9-the end of the show !

xoxo

"I was drunk!"

I don't think that should ever be an excuse for why you did what you did. Everyone has self control even if they're intoxicated. It's pretty stupid how people can use that excuse. If you're gonna hook up with people at a party, DON'T be with someone you "care" about a few hours before telling them you only do that lovey dovey shit with them when really..YOU DON'T. Like seriously, I'm sick of all these lies. Lies on top of lies on top of lies. How are you ever suppose to know what's forreal ?

You can't have your fuckin cake and eat it.

On the bright side, I met the cutest boy yesterday (: Ahhhhh so hot. Hopefully we see each other again soon ! (:

xoxo

B$

I'm hella fuckin tired of bullshit.

I don't know how many times I can stress "Just tell me and I won't be mad, if you just hide it from me of course I'm going to be mad" and you STILL won't fuckin understand that meaning.

Why do guys tell you "I miss you" or "I really care about you" but behind your back they'll be out eating w/ some girl without you knowing. I'm hella tired of people being shady and shit. BE FUCKIN REAL. Don't tell me bullshit when you don't even mean it. Especially if you already know leaving is gonna be hard. FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU. 17 months & you're still the same shit head you've always been.

I cannot fuckin wait to leave. THAN YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKIN REGRET EVERYTHING.

Think before you fuckin act seriously.

I'm hella heated if you can't tell. Good fucking night.

xoxo

One Tree Hill

I loooove this show. My favorite episode is season 3 episode 9 (:

But anyways i'm kinda too tired to blog.

To sum it up .. i'm so tired of being confused.

I'm counting the days until its time to leave. I'm realllly excited.

Anyway, I'm done doing my nails.

I'm so tired of SD.

San Diego.

Home sweet home ..

Boy do I wish I was still in San Francisco right now ):

I just got back like .. 3 hours ago ? Hahaha. I had sooo much fun in SF. I fell in love with the campus while I was there. I'm 100% sure that I want to go to SFSU. I don't know exactly why I love being there so much .. there's just so much to do. & everyone there has spirit. I feel like Mira Mesa .. is old. All you see are these little middle schoolers at the movies every week sucking on their boyfriend/girlfriend's faces. That use to be the "spot" & it was actually fun. Plus, prices to watch a movie now is ridiculous.

& I have to say I miss going every friday to actually watch a movie .. with you.

San Francisco is going to be the perfect opportunity to get over you .. it's too hard when we live like what .. 3 turns away from each other. It was nice having four missed calls from you, and calling you to hear "Why didn't you answer. Finally you called ! I miss you !!!!" that was quite cute. And the "call me when you wake up, so we can talk i want to say hi and tell you i miss ya". But, knowing you .. it's not going to last long. You only miss me when I'm gone & you can't do anything about it. I need to find a better guy. =/

Good thing there were super cute guys at SFSU !! Bahahaha.

Idk what else to say ! Me & Brittney got from Haight St. all the way to Powell to 29th & Doloris ! Bahahah. I'm getting better at this.

Okay .. I'm super tired. Latuh !

xoxo

Oh the irony.

People could look at the picture and knoowww what's so weird about it lols. But really, it wasn't even as awkward as you think it'would be. I had fun (: It's been a while since I actually went out like this. And I reallllyyy like hanging out with this group. They're just down for fun.

I felt quite flattered this weekend actually. Knowing how mad someone got over things. Lol. Foo, I aint cho girl. Calm the eff down.

I watched High School Musical 3 again .... I bawled like a little baby again LOL.

Thanks Karen & Keilani for being there this weekend too. Love you guyssss. We were all in a pissy mood at first hahah.

I'm leaving thursday for San Fran. Woot woot. Sooo excited.

xoxo

Go w/ your head not your heart.

I don't know what to think anymore.

Yeah, my heart wants it. But my brain knnoowws it's not good.

I hate hate hate you. Seriously.

I have rehearsal soon. My dad left for the weekend to go to the desert. Random. Just like this weather -_-

This weather is soo icky. Last time I checked this is SAN DIEGO. As much as I hate cold weather, I cannot wait to leave.

High School Musical 3 is so depressing, since we're seniors .. & they're seniors ahhaha. I wish life was like a movie ! Seems so easy. But seriously .. it's almost over ):

xoxo

Studio 429.

I'm going to base this whollleeee blog on you guys because I love you soooo much.

I was thinking back on Showstoppers weeekend .. I've never been so happy in my life when I was there with everyone. Ahhhh. I wish that weekend can just come back. I swear I didn't worry about anything that whole weekend. Shoot, Me & Benice didn't even worry about our ride back home until it was time to leave -_- hahahaha.

I still remember tryouts clearly. I remember coming riiiight before tryouts started since I was running late. I got exactly 2 hours of sleep that night. I had my first realll break up the day before of tryouts and these complete strangers were there to make me feel better. Andrew & Gio attacked me when I first got to the door and was like "ARE YOU TRYING OUT FOR TRU-DEF ?!" Once I said yes all you hear is "yaaaaaaaaaaay !!!!" from everyone else trying out.

Our first rehearsal was always so fun. Playing games to get closer. I'm waaaay too attached to everyone now ): I'm soooo happy I met them. & I thank GOD for giving me you guys.

Not only my team, everyone else there makes me happy. Even if I don't know them. The fact that they're dancing at studio 429 makes me happy (: I met a lot of new people there, and a lot of my close friends are there ! I don't even see them everyday, and I'm closer to them than my friends at school.

I don't know how it'll be when I'm gone. I wish there was a UHAUL truck big enough to fit the whole studio & everyone in it so everyone can just come with me. But .. that's me being selfish.

Yesterday we went to the beach. It was amazinngggg. The weather was beautiful! & now it's back to being cold -_- I had so much fun with everyone again. The water was FREEZING. Mine & J.R.'s feet turned numb from the water ! The food at Ruby's was great ! Thanks everyone who came out to support us (:

Finaallllyyy. I wanna thank allll the directors at the studio. I use to think they would pick favorites. Idk why .. I'm stupid. But they're amazing people. Without them .. we wouldn't be where we are now. None of us. I realized they put THEIR life on hold just for us all the time. I am truly blessed to have all this extra help. After our first performance I just wanted to break down in tears because you can TELL how proud they were. Everything they said was true, just have fun & not worry about what place we got. All that fun paid off. They're like our 2nd parents to me (:

I love Studio 429.

& I love our parents. For supporting every single one of us.

I'm going through thankful moment ahahah.

Yack, got me crying. I hate thinking about leaving you guys. When Darryl said it was his last Friends & Family today, it made me really sad because it was MY last Friends & Family too. For a while maybe. I started out at Studio 429. My first performance was a month later for Friends & Family. That's where it all began. When I saw Choreo Cookies perform last, thaaat was my inspiration to keep me dancing. I wish I never took so many breaks w/ dancing. I would've gotten a lot further !

But thanks everyone. I love you!

xoxo

Shedding.

Not hair, but tears.

I want everything to be easier.

I'm so stupid for answering that phone call, I wouldn't have to be going through any of this if it wasn't for you. It IS your fault though, not mine. It's always yours.

I reallllyyy want to just leave right now. Like, I feel like I'm going to be crying until I leave. Idk why, there's nothing making anything easier for me. Except for dance, but the outcome of that is being sore for days.

Thank you Jeff for teaching us the amazing piece we're not even done with for Friends & Family hahaha. I love it.

& Rehearsal was amazing .. I love love LOVE Studio 429 so much.

Today we had the Peer Counseling Parent Dinner. Omg, thanks guys for ALWAYS making me cry. But on the reals, I hellllaa appreciate my parents for everything. & I love them so much .. I don't know how it's going to be without them ): I feel so selfish because I complain about every no they say. & usually they say yes. I hate myself for giving them that unnecessary attitude. Ughhhhhh.

I just cleaned my room for the first time in forever. I only clean when I'm mad or sad .. I realized that.

But I should go to bed before anything else happens.

Thanks everyone whose been there. I know I sound like a drama queen .. but moving somewhere for a couple of years is not easy when you never moved in your life !

xoxo

Stressed.

Ughhhh. I don't know why I'm getting so worked up over getting ready for college. It's riight around the corner & I have no clue what to do next.

So I have decided to go to SFSU. I'm leaving on March 13 to go take a tour of the college. I'm so excited.

I really really wish YOU would be here. Some "friend". I'm pretty sure when you wanted me to be there for you, I was there. Where are you when it's my turn ? I'm so sick of selfish people. I mean I know I'm selfish, but not that selfish. Shit.

I'm worried about what's next, senior portfolio, making up my two D's, dance, getting my trip organized. kjlfjgalfdjg I just don't know. This is why I fuckin` need you ! I'm getting so .. (#&%(#& over it. & I'm sorry if I blow up. I'm just so full of stress.

I just feel like crying it all out. Cause I'm that much of a baby );

Fuck you .. seriously. You really make me happy I'm leaving.

xoxo

Big decisions.

So I'm more than 50% sure I want to go to San Francisco State. This was my #1 choice when I started applying, and I know I'd regret it if I didn't give it a try. I can always come back right?

The things I get into though .. I wish I never answered that phonecall ): I'm getting too close to people I shouldn't be close with, it's making everything so much harder. I don't wanna leave themmmm. If only I had a big box for them so I can just pack them with me !

He makes me happy .. ): They make me happy.

Raaaawwr. I hate being in situations like this ! I've been so emotional over it. I keep crying because I really can't see my life without these people! It's not that I neeeed them, I just want them ! They make everything better. Through thick and thin.

"I know you think I don't care, but I'm going to miss you a lot" I hate you for saying that because now it just keeps repeating in my head and making thing 10x more harder !

I think if I left, I'd be back every freakin` month knowing me, I get homesick so easily. But that's costly ):

Time for bed though .. I've been sick x_x

xoxo

San Francisco State University

I got admitted .. woohoo. =/ I really am happy .. it was my number one choice at the beginning of the year. But now that I've grown to looove my team & my close friends .. it's so hard making a decision.

I hated living here and I just wanted to pack everything & just leave. Now I just wanna get out of high school. I don't know how I'm going to leave Studio 429. My second family ): It's amazing how close I got to them..it sucks how we were just talking about how much we meant to each other ): That makes everything so much harder.

As much as I wanted to get in, I wish I didn't because I wouldn't have to make sucha hard decision. I feel like I was more happy to get admitted into Cal State San Marcos because it was right there from home..my studio & my real home hahah.

Being a senior IS tough. Sooo many decisions to make.

I want to leave for the experience .. but geeeeze. &&&& I know I can always come back if things don't work out for me there. I just don't know.

& I feel like crying. Even though that wouldn't help the situation at all .. I'm sucha baby I hate it.

"Where is #*&$*#$(#$ I need a shoulder to cry on !" Hahha. Our convos. Oh how J.R. can make me feel better. This is why I love my teammates. "Just think you didn't get accepted, so the decision will be easier !" Yeah J.R. it doesn't help when I already read the letter & saw the e-mail.

Ahh .. I'm so stressed. I tend to stress myself out way more than I should be.

Oh & having .... back in my life doesn't help at all. I seriously just wanna shut the door on the for good until I leave and maybe this decision will be easier. At the same time .. I know w/o them, I'd be going through hell 10x more.

Friick.

Tru-Def had a performance today at Marshall Middle School. Hahaha..that was great. Once again, I love my team ! I have no idea how to stress that anymore. I have so much fun with them. They really are amazing people ..

But I should get to bed. So tired & overwhelmed. Good nigh.

xoxo

Rehearsal days.

I love rehearsal. Today was a pretty deep day for us, sitting for 1 1/2 hours just talking about how we feel. I love Shannon for writing essay's about us. I love Jacki for being so happy for being on the team w/ all of us. I love everyone b/c they make me happy (: I am thankful for being on this team. I wanted this soooo bad & now I'm finally on it. Our first competition felt GREAT because I worked SO hard to make it since I didn't make it last season. I love you Tru-Definition. & when this season is over, I want you all to be in my life still (:

College update ! So far I only got a letter from Cal State San Marcos. I have to wait for San Fran. State & SDSU still. ): Gahhhh. I have a biiiig decision to make. If I make it into SFSU, I don't know weather or not I wanna move there. I'm gonna miss my two families here.

My latest obsession over a song is Kiss Me Thru The Phone - Soulja Boy. Ahh. Idk why I like it so much ahaha.

Performance at Marshall Middle School on friday ! 6:30, be there !

I'm so excited for Friends & Family, MC Airbands, KAR, WOD, Showstoppers National, & Del Mar. Woohoooo.

I'm still sick ): Baaad headache right now, & Jeff's class killed me today !

xoxo

Reminiscence.

Oh how I miss the old days .. ): But this is where fate comes in. It's hard to be around the person you really care for & not be able to tell them what you want to tell them. But it's not the right time for us to be together, maybe we won't ever be together again. Buuut I gotta believe in Serendipity. If it was meant to be, it'll come x_x

On the bright side ! I watched our video (: Omfg Tru-Def !!!!!! I love you guys, no freakin` joke ! We are one amaaazing team. & I'm so excited for rehearsal tomorrow.



&&&&& FRIENDS AND FAMILY IS NEXT MONTH. For all those people who like to perform but AREN'T on a team, go take class at Studio 429. You can perform in our show (:

Our boy scout performance is this friday too. (: Marshall Middle School 6:30 !

BTW; I have the stomach flu AGAIN. -_- I stayed home today, but I'll be back tomorrow (;

Bye loves !

xoxo

Double Platinum 1st Place !

Thanks sooo much Tru-Definition for the amazing time this weekend (: WE WON DOUBLE PLATINUM GUYSSSS ! 3rd overall. Ahhhh, our first competition too !

& congratulations for the rest of the studio for doing SO good at the competition. My throat is so so sooo tired from it all ! I wish we could just re-do this whole weekend ! It's too good to end ):

Disneyland was super fun (: We were at California for like ... 2 hours lol ! gay.

I WENT ON SPACE MTN. FOR THE FIRST TIME. Omg. ): So scary at first but soo fun ! I loved this weekend !

Boo school ):

Bye !

xoxo

Good day!

Yayyyyyy. Tomorrow is Showstoppers ! I can't believe it's already here omg ! All I've been doing is listen to our medley hahaha. I'm so excited ! Then Disneyland for the rest of the weekend.

But GOOD LUCK TD, BT, PS, RD, AND PRODUCTION TEAM. (: I love you guuyyysss <3

Today was a gooood ass day.

I got accepted into Cal State San Marcos YAAY. I really don't think I'm going to San Fran. State anymore ): Too far and too much money I DON'T have. & I couldn't just leave my studio family like that <3 & my real family hahaha.

I'm happy (:

& mofo, stop confusing me. Pick me or her PLEASE. If you're gonna be doing all this cute stuff for me, don't go to her right after. You're just pissing me off & it's not cute at all. I know you're stupid little plan -_-

Okay. I have food coma right now, so I'm about to fall asleep blogging !

Later pimps & hoes.

xoxo

Excited.

Yaaaay showstoppers is in 2 days ! I'm sooo nervous but so excited. First competition of the season (: I lovee love LOVE my team. We get to spend the wholllee weekend together .. oh great. LOL. Jk ! Our performance is on Saturday, California after ? Then watch the rest of the teams on Sunday then Disneylandddddddd. Woohooooo ! (: It's going to be fun.

Then Monday, Wow with April, Kim & mayyybbee Angel. I have to pick these bums up. Woohooo -_- Ahahahaha.

Life .. has been so crazy .. thanks everyone whose stuck with me through it all. Leslie, Janelle, & John. That's you (: I love you guys. Plus Prandy LOL. I couldn't ask for more out of you guys. Thanks for understanding everything. Thanks for making me laugh when I need it.

There has been soooooooo much drama. I'm so tired of it. I'm not even gonna deal with it anymore. Thanks for the time you DID give me. Have a great fucking life !

Last night .. was really .. random and surprising. But I liked it (: That's confidential !

Valentine's day is in 2 days too. No valentine for me ): Ohhh wellll. I'm going to be gone anyway. Have fun everyone (: I still dislike Valentine's day hahaha. I don't see why you need a date to make you treat your damn thingthing out !

Buuuuuuuuut okay. I should sleep soon. I've been a bitch cause of lack of sleep .. but maybe it's my rag (:

&&&&&&&&& he's so cute !!!! (: I have no clue when I became too shy to talk to a guy I thought was cute .. how weird !

OH AND YOU LITTLE SIDELINE HOE, STFU. Before you call anyone ugly, look in the damn mirror !

xoxo

Drama.

I am so done with high school drama.

School is sucha drag now. I really hate it. I'd give an arm and a leg to just get out of here.

Thanks for being there for me guys >.>

Showstoppers is in 8 days. Oh. my. gosh. I am soooo excited. I love my team so much. I feel like they've been there A LOT more than friends that I've known since middle school !

My trust issues grow more and more everyday because of these people.

Ughhhh.

I need change. & I want a cutie <3 That dances (: Hahahaha.

Well .. I'm watching Breakfast at Tiffany's for the 2093875927 time. So latuhh.

xoxo

Realizing.

This breakup really opened up my eyes.

I realized I deserve soooo much more. & there are better people out there. I never really talked to this guy before .. but so far he's pretty damn cute :P

I love life right now.

I do admit I miss you, Andrew. =/ But you moved on to .. let's just say .. LOL. Don't wanna say anything mean. Thanks for leaving me for a sideline hoe. Don't come back when you get bored .. thanks.

I'm over it & I thank God I am !

Life has been really fun now that I'm alone, it really shows who my true friends are and who aren't.

Trust will always be an issue with me now. I thought I could trust this onnneee person out of everyone, but I thought wrong.

So yes, thank you for finally giving me a legit reason to leave you. I hope you're happy feeling like a p--------.

2 weeks till showstoppers !

xoxo

Cheaters.

It was my turn to be on that show.

2/3 relationships. 2 cheated. 1 loyal.

Shows how much people tell the truth now & days.

xoxo